Journeys Into the Past

On Monday, April 20, 2009 I discovered the William Knibb High School Alumni http://www.williamknibbalumni.com/ just by accident. Since then I have had emails from many old school friends who are no longer young girls or boys but grown women and men now with their own families all of them quite beautiful I must say. I have discovered that some students have passed on and are no longer in this world with us, but their memories lives on. I feel so privileged to be apart of this unique, creative, talented, and heartwarming group of people. Everyone has been very complimentary and kind and wishes for me the best in life and I do wish the same for them. The creators of the site have done an exceptional job and I congratulate them on a job well done.

With that said, revisiting the past can be bittersweet for many. For some it can bring back painful memories of childhood, it also remind others that they are getting older and looking back on old school photos might not be such a great idea right now. However, the experience can be rewarding because it gives us a chance to reflect on our growth, our accomplishments over the years, our past behaviours, our idiosyncrasies, and our goals now that we are in our early twenties, late thirties or early forties. Now is also a great opportunity for us to maybe start giving back to help those who are now at a place we once were.

Note though, that you might be disappointed by a long lost friend not returning your email when contacted or not answering the phone when you call even though they gave you their number. Respect their decision and move on. 2009, is along way from 1989. Many people have been through so many life changes that their views and opinions will certainly differ from your own now, and when that happens it’s not really that negative-- it just means you might have to readjust your views to accommodate a new personality. Be kind and respectful to your long lost friends, don’t offer your telephone number if you don’t want to receive calls. Respect the boundaries of those friends when they say, they will get in touch with you when they feel the time is right.

Finally, if you need to apologize to a old friend for whatever happen in the past, do so and then accept their decision and move on or continue the friendship if both parties are inclined. Enjoy the experience and the opportunity to rekindle old friendships again, laugh have fun and make the memories last.

Here is a quote from Louise L. Hay, Book “You Can Heal Your Life”

In the infinity of life where I am,all is perfect, whole and complete. My life is ever new
Each moment of my life is new and fresh and vital.
I use my affirmative thinking to create exactly what I want.
This is a new day. I am a new me.
I think differently. I speak differently. I act differently.
Others treat me differently.
My new world is a reflection of my new thinking.
It is a joy and a delight to plant new seeds,
For I know these seeds will become my new experiences.
All is well in the world.

Running On Empty

Today life is complicated and full of unexpected happenings, we have to think about our responsibilities to ourselves, to our family, friends, co-workers, our boss, our neighbours and so on. We feel pulled in many different directions and I strongly believe that most of us don't feel like we are doing sufficient to not only please ourselves but others. First of all, work on pleasing yourself first, then make your life simple, the less complicated the better. Even when the walls around you seems to be crumbling, find that special moment in your life that really made you happy. Maybe it was when you were a small child, a teenager or a when you were just a young adult.

Try to find something that you can concentrate on that makes you feel a sense of love and completeness. Maybe you are good with your hands, and you like knitting, or painting or writing. Do what makes you happy. Start small do something for you when you feel the urge. Don't listen to people who tell you to do something everyday or write everday or your motivation will dry up it's not true. That just makes things complicated and breeds urgency where it's not needed. Whenever you feel up to doing something crafty or creative do it. Tomorrow will take care of itself. If you plan on writing a book I don't recommend setting a deadline. Listen to the word "Deadline." Just saying it makes me cringe. Write when you feel the urge if it takes you 3 years to write a book well I guarantee you it will do doubt be the most well written book ever. Don't set unrealistic goals to complete a project in way less time than you can imagine. For example writing a 300 page book in 6 months. Don't do it. Take small steps daily and you will do just fine.

When I was writing my book it took me 2 years but I know it was a well written book so did my agent that is why she decided to work with me. Even though my book is not yet published it doesn't mean that I failed it just mean that time wasn't ripe for it but I can either send it off to other agents or publish it myself. Create your own dreams and live each moment one day at a time.

So here is quote from Daniel Rutley that I will pass on to you, " Believe that can make a positive change in your life and then act on that belief."

Your Greatest Benefits come from loving....Not being loved

I won a book called "Escaping Emotional Entrapment--Freedom From Negative Thinking and Unhealthy Emotions" about three years ago after calling in to a show to make a comment about what the author wrote in his book. The Author, Daniel Rutley wrote this very informative, creative and powerful book about the different kinds of emotional traps that we get entangled in and how we can free ourselves from these negative emotions.

In his book he said, and I quote, "Your Greatest Benefits come from loving....Not being loved." This is absolutely true. I believe that you can never really love another human being completely unless you learn to love yourself first. Many of us today try to reach out to people who don't care about us, believing that this will bring us happiness or make them happy. I have learnt some harsh lessons over the years where I have made other people my top priority trying to get others affection, love, or friendship but at my very own expense. Not good and I don't recommend it. Many times we do this unconsciously, where we tell ourselves that what we are doing is okay and that it's okay to spend valuable time making other people like us.

Stop all this negative behaviour today and concentrate on you. So here is a small excerpt from Daniel Rutley's book "Escaping Emotional Entrapment," that you can keep in mind.

I love me I am a wonderful person and deserve to be happy

I can enjoy myself, although I make mistakes.

I can continue to love myself, even if others don't.

I can handle any situation because I'm strong.

I know that no matter what, I can always love me.

I have a right to love me regardless of the mistakes of my past.

Life is like a Box of Chocolate....

"Life is like a box of chocolate you never know what you gonna get." This famous line came from that very endearing movie, "Forest Gump." This movie always made me cry no matter how many times I see it. It's amazing how life offers us so many different things on one platter--the platter been our lives. We don't know what we are going to receive one day to the next. If we send out the right things in the universe then great things come back to us and vice versa. My Grandmother always say to me, "you reap what you sow." If I put everything into something then I will get something back, if I don't well I just have to do without.

In the grand scheme of things the Movie, Forest Gump by Tom Hanks taught us many things. For starters, it reminds us that no matter how much you love something very much, there comes a time when you have to let go and move on. It teaches us about the way we sometimes give of ourselves more than we should, and the way we cope when we feel we are at the end of our rope. "Do we continue fighting for what we can't have or do we just let go and live life like there is not tomorrow?"

In the movie, Forest Gump was inlove with is long time friend but no matter how much he told her he loved her, she didn't feel the same way towards him. To get over is pain, Forest enlisted in the army and was lucky to live through the whole experience. To me life is what you make of it. You take everyday as it comes. You will be tested, you will get hurt, you will cry, you will feel like Forest sometimes and you will probably feel worst than him sometimes, but life could never be the same without experiencing the true meaning of living.

I love life, I am happy to be here with my husband and two wonderful children. Everyday, I awake from sleeping, I say, "thank you God for making me wakeup this morning." Life though is not always a bed of roses and when things get so bad that I can't see through the rain or the smog, I go to the one place I know for sure---me. I reach into my heart and find that special moment where I have been tested before and where my belief system resides and I find it. I find that one special something to think about that makes me feel whole again. So, you reach in and do the same and you will find your own you in your heart.

Inspirational Messages to Live By

Louise L. Hay Author of "You Can Heal Your Life," who have written many other bestselling books have always put things in perspective for me through her very frank, down-to-earth and motherly style of writing. In her book You Can Heal Your Life I would like to pass on one of her affirmations to you.

In the infinity of life where I am,

all is perfect, whole, and complete.

The past has no power over me

because I am willing to learn and to change.

I see the past as necesary to bring me to where I am today.

I am willing to begin where I am right now

to clean rooms for my mental house.
I know it does not matter where I start,

so I now begin with the smallest and the easiest rooms,

and in that way I will see results quickly.

I am thrilled to be in the middle of this adventure,

for I know I will never go through

this particular experience agian.

I am willing to set myself free.

All is well in the world.

Flags

Flags is a book written by Maxine Trottier and Paul Morin. The book tells the tale of a little girl named Mary and her Grandmother who had a next door neighbour Mr. Hiroshi who was Japanese. I read the book with my daughter recently and wanted to share the story of the book as well as for you to reflect upon the message. Please feel free to borrow the book from your local library if it is available and share the story with your own children or even with your friends and family. Also you can visit the writer here: http://www.maxinetrottier.com/bio.htm

The book started out with Mary describing the time spent with her Grandmother during the summer and how beautiful everything felt. "The Ocean sang and filled our day with the scent of salt. A nearby river ran deep and cool. It was a world of green and dragonflies and fog-dampened air."

Mary's Grandmother home was next door to Mr.Hiroshi's. She would always go outside to admire the Cherry Plum trees and love their smell at springtime. This next part is what touched my heart deeply. Mary would go on to depict Mr.Hiroshi's garden as unusual. "I had never seen anything like it. There were no flower beds or ivy. No lilies or ferns nodded their heads in the pale sunshine. Instead, it was all sand and soft, green moss. Gravelled paths and stepping stones wandered between the clipped evergreens." Mary went on to say, "In the center lay a pond that was ringed with small, blue Irises her grandmother called Flags." Koi swam in lazy circles beneath the water's surface. When I clapped my hands, the fish drifted to the top and their greedy mouths poked into the air.

To me Mr. Hiroshi's garden was designed without a sense of permanence. One could tell that he was no doubt a very sad man with a kind spirit but hardened by some pain he felt inside. The fish in the pond reminded him I believe that there is hope and possible some beauty left in the world.

It's amazing how our lives can change in a heart beat. Mary's Grandmother was concerned about Mr. Hiroshi. She had read in the newspaper that Japanese people were being taken away to camps far from their homes. "It is because of the war, Mary," she told me. "But surely they will leave Mr. Hiroshi alone." One morning two soldiers came with a letter to the house next door. Mr. Hiroshi would be going too.

Tears came to my eyes because just like Mr. Hiroshi, I once had to leave my home many years ago to go live somewhere else. I had to leave my brother behind, my mother and Father and it was hardest thing a small child had to do, but I had no choice.

"The night before he left said Mary, we sat in his garden on a low, stone bench. The setting sun lit our faces with the red and Mr. Hiroshi looked out across the ocean. I knew that Japan lay there, a world away. Behind us in the pond, the koi made tiny popping sounds as they begged for food." It is strange, said Mr. Hiroshi. I was born in this country. I have lived in this house all my life. How sad that I may not be able to finish this garden."

In the morning a bus came. Many Japanese people sat inside it, their faces stiff with sadness. Grandmother and I went to say goodbye. "I will take good care of your garden, Mr. Hiroshi," I offered. He smiled. "That would give me great comfort, Mary, he said."

Later, Mr. Hiroshi's home was sold and new family moved in. The new family dug up Mr. Hiroshi's garden and planted grass. They filled in the pond and edged the yard with rose bushes and daisies. They seemed very pleased with their work.

The Author Maxine Trottier wrote a "Authors Note" where she tell the story of many Japanese

settling on the West Coast. There was a great deal of descrimination against them and life was not easy. Still, they thought they had the same rights as other citizens. Then, in 1939, world War II came. In 1941, Japan bombed Pearl Harbour in Hawaii. In Canada and the United States, the homes and businesses owned by the Nikkei were seized. Families were relocated to isolated camps or split up and sent to different places. When the war ended, people of Japanese ancestry were not allowed to return to their homes. Many were eventually deported to Japan, a place many had never seen or been before.

I would like to apologize on behalf of all of us who do not descriminate and feel the need to hurt another human being due to ethnicity or race that we are sadden by these stories but with great writers like Ms. Trottier. We will all grow to become better human beings. I implore everyone today to leave a mark on the world by spreading kindness and respect to one another in our daily lives.

Feeling Great Doesn't Have To be Expensive

Stay Happy and Positive

Today more than ever I believe people are more stressed out than years before and I believe the trend will continue for awhile. So, what can we do about it? Well for starters, research have shown that about fifty percent of our capacity for happiness is genetically determined-the rest is up to us. So here are some easy, everyday, down-to-earth tips of feeling great about yourself and been happy as much as possible every day you have on this earth.

1. Make time for yourself and the people you love.


2. Do something for someone else-I have always said this and it's worth repeating. Volunteer, help at your local hospital, give what you don't need.


3. Don't make comparisons with other people not even with celebrities. Just accept where you are in life, be grateful for the little things and always remember you are special and unique.


4. Don't focus on all the failures and mistakes that you have made. Remember all your achievements even though you didn't get on the honour roll doesn't mean that you have failed, it just means that something wonderful is waiting for you on another road.


5. Make good with what you have. If you strive for just the material things in life then you will end up living a empty life. Focus on the basics of life.


6. Don't give yourself too much responsibilities. Take each challenge and each opportunity one day at a time.


7. Turn off the television. If you have kids take them for a walk. If you live in a neigbourhood where you feel safe take a walk around the block even if no one stops to talk to you it's okay, always remember spirit is always with you and you are not alone.


8. Make an effort to make positive choices about how you spend your time each day. Relax, and when it starts to feel like the sky is falling then seek support from those you trust and those who have your best interest at heart.

Planned For God's Purpose

I would like to borrow a message from Rick Warren's powerful book "The Purpose Driven Life."

On Page 63 of his book the title is called "Planned for God's Pleasure."

You created everything, and it is for your pleasure that they exist and were created. revelation 4:11

The lord takes pleasure in his people
psalm 149:42

You were planned for God's pleasure. The moment you were born into the world, God was there as an unseen witness, smiling at your birth. He wanted you alive, and your arrival gave him great pleasure. God did not need to create you, but he choose to create you for his own enjoyment. You exist for his benefit, his glory, his purpose, and his delight.

Rick Warren then went on to say, "Bringing enjoyment to God, living for his pleasure, is the first purpose of your life."

God wants us to be happy all of us even the people who are living in poverty right now, the people who have lost their homes or is about to lose their home, their retirement savings and everything in between, God want's them to be happy and safe. I believe when we are not happy God too is unhappy. Our pleasure in life is compounded by the direct impact of the choices we make. With all due respect, many people would say "so what about the people who didn't cause all those bad things to happen to them ?" Are those people who are having a difficult time right now suffering from the choices they made in the past? Like losing all their money in the stock market?" No, definately not. We live in a very challenging world today and our lives are complicated by the added pressure of living under a certain set of rules and obligations.

In some countries today, many people don't pay land taxes like we do, are not required to pay car insurance, are not required to take out health insurance and so on. In our society we are obligated to pay for many things some which we could do without and others things we can't. We feel compelled to and we are often pressured to buy things we don't need or use. How many of us reading this article today gave away something that you didn't need in last 2 weeks? Many of us have lots of things stashed away in the garage or in the house. The coffee machine we got for christmas, the china bowl set from aunt Maggie, the colourful floral blanket that your friend Sophia gave you on your birthday that is still in the original box in the garage.

What about all those things, you don't need that someone else could use.

Many people today are not happy like how God wants us to be happy because we are selfish, we are sentimental and we often don't want to let go of things we feel attached to. So instead we sit back and we watch others suffer and say things like " I planned my life better, I made better decisions that is why my life is better." We are all connected spiritually in this world and we need to reach out the person who may not want to ask for anything because of pride--and reach out to them and help a fellow human being who might need a blanket for the winter, or a pair of shoe or something you don't need or will ever use and pass it on to someone else.

The Universe emanates energy and I believe alot of us are not happy right now even though we are not all in the same country some of are in Europe, or Asia others in North America we are feeding off each others negative energy and we are unhappy because we feel helpless at the ways things have been in the past few months. There is one thing that God promises though and it's that things will get easier, it will get better and even though we might not feel up to it we need to keep doing all the things we can to make ourselves and others feel happy each day. Quoting this message from Rick Warren's book I would like to offer you this message for you to ponder and maybe passing it on to someone else.

"What you are is God's gift to you, What you do with yourself is your gift to God."

Go out and make the world a better place.

Seeing Through The Rain

I always like when the rain falls because even if you are indoors when it happens it always seem to have a calming effect, things somehow kind of move in slow motion. Sometimes though life gets so overwhelming that you literally can't see through the rain. There are times when the rain falls and your driving and it pours so hard you either have to slow down or pull over on the side of the road until you can safely go again. Life is just like that things get so overwhelming and chaotic and clouded you just basically have to halt everything. I just experience that recently. I physically have to just stop and take a one day sabbatical so to speak to clear my head and just breathe.

If there was a monitor attached to us everyday to check how many times our blood pressure goes up everyday we would definately slow down. It is very difficult when there is so little time in a day. Between you, the kids, the husband, the dog, the PTA, the soccer club, the grocery store, the dry cleaner, the hot blog you are working on, the people who use up your time unnecessarily, the dinner, the housecleaning and all the other things a woman seems to have on her plate its no wonder we can't see where we are going half the time. I believe we give ourselves too much responsibilities. Our expectations of ourselves that others have holding over heads causes us to just burnt out after a while.

So, for your sake and the sake of those close to you, make the time to take a break a couple hours won't hurt or even a day. You will feel alot better and your body won't feel like it's been hit by a thousand bats. Just sit by yourself if you can, the washroom is a great place--trust me no one will want to follow you there, and just sit for a while breath. Close your eyes and think about nothing, no one, not even if you hear the kids jumping on the table, just let it be. Sit for awhile and just meditate on what's happening with you in a positive way. Maybe you have a friend that you haven't spoken to for awhile, give them a call--but later, after you get to regroup and rethink. If you can, buy a cup of your favourite coffee or treat yourself to your favourite slice of cake, whatever your fancy, just enjoy yourself for just a one day.

Progress

As a continuation to the rest my book "Everyday I open my heart" here is Part 3.

A deeper understanding of ourselves can lead us to another stage in life, Progress. Before you can make spiritual progress where you are stable, happy and fulfilled emotionally you must have harmony and balance in each area of our life. You cannot achieve this if you don’t have strength of will, courage, determination, and strength of mind. However, without these factors progress is limited, but it is not entirely out of our hands. When you are not moving as fast as you would like, frustration kicks in. Eventually you become tired and listless, then you lose interest, and begin to seek a new venture or source of excitement and off you go again. The words “patience is a virtue,” is not to be taken lightly in our lives. If we have the right dose of patience to slowly but surely make it to where we want to be, only then can we achieve the desired goal. When we learn the art of patience then we begin to see great changes. These changes happen as the wheel begins to turn slowly just right enough so we don’t topple off. We will then see how our lives begin to change for the better, growth is established and progress is made. Keeping and open mind is one of the essential keys to self-development and spiritual growth. To grow in a positive way you must be able to explore all the possibilities in life, to be open to new ideas, new experiences, and new ways of doing things. Our innate potential as humans to create something out of nothing is an extraordinary feat. When you can visualize the possibilities, it will offer you a tremendous dose of power to realize your true potential. Think of all the wonderful elements spiritually, creatively, and physically that you can combine to create a life of success and happiness. All of us have something special store within us. These special gifts are our main source to a successful life. Some of us were born to be painters, brick makers, wood carvers, gardeners, cake makers, poets, writers, dancers, singers, and so much more. What is important is that, we must accept who we are, embrace our unique talents, and use them in a positive way to influence this world and to aid in our progression towards a more fulfilling life.

When People Don't Act Real

I am always personally amazed by people who I meet from time to time who will appear to be so nice and friendly that I just simple want to invite them home for dinner. Wait! not so fast something doesn't feel right too nice maybe, too friendly how do you know that the person is not on the up and up. I can tell you that for me most times I am accurate. Now the person or persons doesn't know that I have already figure them out but I can honestly say that I feel a sense of enpowerment when I know that the person I am talking with doesn't know I am on to them. There have been people around me that have for many years seems to think that I am completely clueless as to who or what they are about. "Why do people pretend to like someone when they don't?"

Why fake the smile? Why try to let the world fall at a persons feet if you dislike them? Wouldn't be easier to be honest with yourself and not fake the process. Are you guilty of this offense? Personally, I am been completely honest when I say people I don't like I don't talk to and I don't try to be near people who don't like me--It's that simple. The question is, "how do you know when someone doesn't like you?" First of all, I believe I have a gift from God to read not only peoples face but their body language. It is amazing the things you can learn. People who don't like you will show various characteristics and signs about their feelings towards you here are some them.

1. Making you feel too welcome--By that I mean you visit them and they make you feel like your the best thing that God created--and I mean it when I say you are the best thing God created--- but not the way how they dish it out.

2. Smiling at everything you say--They don't like you just a cover up for major deslike or hatred.
3. Your Birthday Gift is elaborate---You know in your heart that on a one one level your relationship is not that close yet they shower you with the most expensive gift--could be interpreted as kindness but in most cases not.

4. They talk behind your back then denied it when you discover the truth.

5. They always make you feel inferior even though you think you both are the best of friends.

6. Always wanting to win--They never give you a chance to win a game and if you do you feel like enemy number one if you win.

7. They avoid you when neccessary if they have to tolerate you they do it but only because of some extraneous reason.

8. Jealousy--You just found out you got that great job that you have been wanting for so long finally you did, instead of congratulating you they find fault.

9. Trying to kill all your projects or dreams--You know the type even though you might not have succeeded in the past a really good friend would comfort you and offer suggestions not make you feel inadequate.

10. Abusing your trust--You confide in them only to find out the entire neighbourhood block know what you had for dinner last night.

11. You just bought your new home or car and they don't even show up to take a look.

12. Your child just make the honor roll in College and instead of congratulating you and your child they barely make a comment or none at all.

13. You have been invited to a dinner party by the friend only to show up but they avoid you like the plague--saying they are just busy and they don't have alot of time--your just their to make the room look full.

14. This person always want to foot the bill when you go out--You think they are been kind but behind you they lie and tell people your cheap and won't pay for your own meal.

15. When you make a statement about something they try to top you.

16. They never call you to invite you out anywhere--somehow you slipped their mind.

17. If this person have kids they always want you to keep their kids for a couple hours but when you call they said sorry I am just so busy.

18. You are invited to a function by this person and it's time to take a group shot instead of having you at the front and your suppose to be the best friend they push you to the back.

19. They lie to you all the time when you expect the truth and always set you up for failure.

20. Embarassing you all the time--Lack of respect is a definate sign that they really don't like you.

21. Your the best friend and suddenly their having family over for dinner but your not invited.

It is always doesn't feel right when someone doesn't like you but you don't need to tolerate it and trust me their is always someone out there that will. Like I always say, put yourself in a position mentally where the success of how you feel about yourself is not dependent on another person. You know who you are, you know your fabulous and despite what they may think, you love who you are. Take the first step to really study a person and if you see signs of something that you don't like move on. If people make you feel like you are not worthy move on and create the friendships that God wants for you to have. As a mother I try to instill self-confidence in my children in the best way I can and part of knowing in your heart that there is nothing wrong with you if other people don't like you is to look at your children and even yourself. We are all beautiful people irregardless of what we look like. "Beauty is only skin deep." I have some setbacks with friends and people who have betrayed my trust over the years but I have managed to move on from that situation and find comfort in who I am.

Never feel guilty if a friendship didn't work out life is too short to have people around you that dislike you take care of yourself first and the rest will follow, God Bless.

Overcoming a Crisis

Since the start of this year I have had my own setbacks some of which have put a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety into my life and the rest of my family. I would love to say I have had only a few setbacks in life but I wouldn't be true to myself or you. The kind of life we all come to expect and want have changed dramatically over the years due the economy but I believe our major causes today are more potent than the economy. I believe it to be a social problem. By that I mean that we have come to expect more and more of ourselves as society changes. We tend to put far more pressure on ourselves to succeed, we tend to self-blame when things don't turn out right and our expectations of ourselves are linked to others. We equate our own success to what society expects us to achieve in terms of wealth, power, and education.
When we look around us today we can't but see what is happening to us all. There is a major economic crisis going on in the United States and around the world including Canada and it's having a major impact on many families mine included.

Things happen to people---people don't happen unto things. Take for example in Texas, the hurricane they just experience in September of this current year 2008 have left many families in a very weak position. The status they once had is no longer available and will probable not be attainable ever again. Did they do this to themselves or things just happen that way? Yet, they will no doubt blame themselves for decisions they have made. People will blame each other saying maybe they should have lived somewhere else instead of Galveston or elsewhere in Texas. Maybe if they had taken the job in florida they would have had their home today. It doesn't matter how much we lay blame at ourselves or each other the main thing we need to get us on the right track is owning and taking back our position of power. Instead of saying, "Bad things happen to good people, instead say " Things happen sometimes that we have no control over. We can either stay where we are and refuse to move or be moved. Whatever happens we can't stay where we are forever.

My experiences and my setbacks will be different from yours but what I do know for sure about every setback I have had is that I have ended up gaining valuable lessons and learning alot about myself each day. I also know for sure that when one door closes another one opens and when that door open sometimes several doors will open and you have to be in the right frame of mind to choose the right door. I always give God thanks for giving me life each day, for the roof over my head, for the food I eat and for paying my bills. Someone once said to me, "If I look in my cupboard and I food inside I trust and know that God and the Universe is giving me what I need for the moment." If you have food in the refrigerator that is a sign that you have just what you need to get you by. Don't worry if your friends cupboard is more full than yours or the neighbours make fun of the car you drive because everytime you start the engine it chokes with gas.

Life will provide you with what you need at the moment. Sure you want more than just enough food on the table or a better car to drive or better job or better pair of shoe, it doesn't matter. Essentially, the key ingredient is you. You need to get through a crisis by not:

Self-Blaming--Rejoice in the fact that you are alive and with the ones who care about you.
Blaming Others--Don't blame anyone not even God.
Grieving instead of Anger---Give yourself time to cry and work through the pain of a crisis.
Accept the change--The worst thing you could do is resist change move on what's gone is gone and better things are ahead.
Make do with what you have--Even if you have lost your home and you now have to move into an apartment and everyone looks down on you because they feel ashamed about been with you. Remember the problem is not about you it's about them and if an apartment is where you call home then make it as beautiful as you can. Thank God you are alive! Who cares about status it could be worse, accept the temporary setback you have and continue on with life.
Help others in need-- I always find that if I help others even when my life is turning upside down it helps me get through my own feelings of hurt and lost. I don't have time to think about my own problems I think about those I am helping at the moment.
Let others know that you have suffered a major crisis-- Personally I spoke with my parish priest he even visit me in my home in my time of crisis and it helps to share your story with your pastor, priest or church congregation. Others will be happy to help you through your crisis so don't be ashamed to talk about your problems.
Love yourself --Don't critize yourself for not doing something earlier to stop the crisis you now face. Trust me when I say it was suppose to happen that way and it was out of your hands. Everything that happens in life to us is meant to happen and teach us valuable lessons. God said, "suffer little children to come unto me." What God really means though is that he wants all of us to have a good life but there will be times when things just don't work out but he promises that if we have a crisis we will have to face him if not now, one day in the future but we will come to him.
Believe in yourself --know that you will get through the crisis you face. Maybe you are trying to get over a bad marriage, a major loss, a loss of a home, the loss of job, maybe you have fallen so far you don't ever see yourself getting back up again. I promise you, you will and even if there are people around you who wish the worst things to happen to you it won't. The universe doesn't reward people who are mean and doesn't want the best for you--even though they think God is answering their prayers. Don't worry you are always in safe hands with God.

Wisdom

Wisdom is one of the key factors that aids in our personal and spiritual development. The wiser you become the more you increase your chances to maintain a balance and harmonious life based on the right Judgment call. Learning is a big part of our persona; it shapes us, and makes us unique individuals in society. The more we grow the more we learn, the more we learn the more we are better able to make the right decisions in our lives. If we receive good advice from ourselves or from others then we become more confident in our ability to make wiser choices. When you make responsible choices you can achieve the desired success that you aim for.

When the desired success is achieved, then you are now in a better position to create a sense of harmony and balance in your life, and have the ability to weigh both sides of a situation honestly and rationally. Everyday you are given the ability to make the desired changes in your life. How and when we do this is up to you. What is certain is that, the challenges you face big or small offers valuable lessons from which to learn from. Some of us stick to the norm in society; others break every rule in the book. Our belief systems are what shapes us as individuals and offer us the best clues as to whom we are, and what values we will honor or discard. Each day our minds are fed with thousands and thousands of messages both positive and negative. During this time our minds are processing all the information we have received in the likelihood that we will use these messages in a positive way to make our lives more productive and meaningful.

Life is certain like a good bottle of wine the longer it ages the stronger the wine becomes. Well, our instincts are just the same. If failure occurs in our lives our instincts become sharper, our awareness becomes clearer and it becomes difficult for us to fail. We have learnt major life lessons that will propel us further along our life course. We grow into stronger human beings and that is what wisdom is about.

Growth

This excerpt is from my book "Everyday I Open My Heart" A Handbook For The Modern Woman by Alice Choo-Shee-Nam it is about how we approach growth and our mental state--our fears that comes in way of our own personal growth.

We cannot grow spiritually and emotionally if we are not open to change. For this reason, millions of people continue to do the same thing they have done for years. For example, you might have friends who continue to work in an environment that is not conducive to their health and well-being. Often times they do this because financially, they dare not take any risk to change their jobs for fear of loss of income. Fear of change can hold a person prisoner for many years. For them, the fear of change is so strong that they can’t even take the first step to achieve growth, and if they do, they pull back at the first sign of roadblocks up ahead. Faith, willpower, creativity, leadership, and intuition are just some of the elements that take shape in our lives each day.


Life can be extremely chaotic at times, and for every decision, and every challenge you face in life you must muster enough courage and faith to believe in yourself and trust that you have made the right decisions. Willpower plays a crucial factor in overcoming adversaries and for every hurdle you overcome you take an important step towards growing both mentally and spiritually. It is also important for you to bring creativity into your daily life, particularly, within the family and work environment. Leadership skills and intuition skills are a natural part of the human personality as is the daily necessity of the fresh air you breathe. If you don’t have all the elements in place like the Magician does, then you can’t harvest all the power available to you to create a wonderful life. We each receive a particular skill when we were born and it is important that you use your talent in a meaningful way in your life everyday.

However, by having faith in oneself, you immediately cultivate willpower. It’s that easy. Gradually, you realize your innate potential, and everything around you starts to bloom. Creative juices begin to flow, your mind becomes ablaze with positive thoughts, and family life becomes impregnated with harmony and inner peace. All of this and more can be accomplished if you muster up the courage to take a “leap of faith,” that first step towards growth.

Your Serenity Pledge
Today I embrace new things in my life and I am willing to explore the possibilities

Fighting For Ourselves

Why is it that we don't fight as hard for ourselves as we do for others? It's amazing when you visit all these political social networking sites and you read through all the posts and you see both parties, whether they are Republicans or Democrats. These Women are really rooting for their own parties and it makes me think really hard about how we are so passionate to speak out for others but not for ourselves. Alot of women don't like to speak out too much if there husband's or boyfriends do them physical harm, or someone embarass them at a dinner party, or their child get mistreated by another child we sometimes sit back and say nothing. Yet, if we see our girlfriends getting mistreated or a friend or a neighbour's child we are quick to action.

How is it that we do that but not fight for what we want or speak out strongly about something that is very dear to us and others? I believe alot of us myself included is guilty of this sometimes, and it means that our priorities are all wrong. We need to focus on ourselves and others because at the end of the day all we have is us and our family. Today I ask that you take the time and take some of that passion and that grit of fighting for others and inject it into your own lives. If you are in relationship that you are been mistreated stand up for yourself. If you see your child getting pushed around by other kids, stand up for you kid. If you can't do it for yourself, no one will do it for you. Put that passionate voice that strong personality and that kind of care into your own lives and I am quite sure you life would improve. Don't try to handle other people's lives, handle your own.

Stormie Omartian's Prayer of the Day

Woman: Lord, give me a vision for my life. I put my identity in You and my destiny in Your hands. Show me if what I am doing now is what I am supposed to be doing. I want what You are building in my life to last for eternity. I know that “all things work together for good” to those who love You and are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). I pray that You would show me clearly what the gifts and talents are that You have placed in me. Lead me in the way I should go as I grow in them. Enable me to use them according to Your will and for Your glory.

— Power of a Praying Woman Book of Prayers
By STORMIE OMARTIAN

Stormie Omartian's new book is worth getting and reading.
The Book is called: Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage Stormie Omartian’s bestselling books on prayer and marriage have touched millions of readers in a life–changing way. Praying Through the Deeper Issues of Marriage looks at 15 serious threats to today’s marriages and helps either a husband or a wife learn how to pray in a way that will protect their relationship from these problems—problems that can lead to unsatisfying marriages or often divorce. For those who are already struggling in these areas, this book will help them find the healing and restoration God has for them.

How Do We Measure Success?

When I read the newspaper or watch television I am always entralled and curious about how other people manage to become extraordinarily wealthy when others haven't managed to achieve the same greatness. Different factors comes into play when we try to determine what makes one person achieve more than the other. Economic background plays into this, social and cultural ethnicity, education and other different factors. Through my life on many occasions I have had people let me know that quite frankly that I am not at their level because I look a certain way, dress a certain way and most importantly because I don't own the five bedroom house down the road with a garden fit for Garden Life Magazine. "Whom do we remember the most, the man or woman down the road who worked two jobs so their kids could go to college or the other person who acquired their wealth because their dad or mom passed on the company to them after retiring?" I tend to remember the stories where others have had major life changes and setbacks and finally overcome many challenges to succeed. These are the stories I remember because they are the stories that are similar to my experience and to have great depth.

Who is it to say that the man who live in the smaller home or drive the old chevy down the road doesn't have a rich life? Who is to say that the person you meet on the train this morning who had a worn out shoe and had on just a tired old overcoat doesn't have a rich life? Success to me is measured first and foremost on the character of a person rather than the total sum of their assets. A man could have the world but if he doesn't have the character or heart and compassion he doesn't have a successful life. If a person sends out hate all the time no matter how much money they have they will never be successful or happy.

My Grandfather was a community man who didn't have alot of money but he along with my Grandmother thought me compassion and kindness. Today he's a very wealthy man not by assets but because he managed to touch so many lives. He offered them shelter if they needed a place to stay, my Grandmother offered food and clothing and whatever else she could muster. She always let me know that if I ever see a man hungry I must never let him go without food. I carry that with me in my life today and I tell my kids this all the time. Always give what you have--don't keep something if you know another man can could use it. Many people have enormous wealth but if they haven't done anything to change another man's life in a meanifulful way then their not doing what they came here to do.

I am rich not because I live in a big house or because I drive a fancy car. I am rich because I have a wonderful family my husband and two kids and yes I try to give what I can everyday even though I don't have alot to give. I always try to offer a hand to total stranger, I show compassion to both young and old. Been a success is not about money and the things you have and how much you can make another man feel inferior because you have a little more money in the bank account or that big house with all the fantastic furniture and designer kitchen. Success is about you and your heart, your soul and your ability to enact change in another man's life so much so it could last for centuries. Before we snubb another person because they don't fit your ideal of "been successful or wealthy" take a moment to look at that person and see what other great attributes they have today.

Rick Warren--The Purpose Driven Life

Rick Warren is the founding pastor of the Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California, one of America's largest churches. I purchased his book the "Purpose Driven Life" a few years ago and I still read it even today. It is a remarkable book and if you haven't had a chance to read it yet you should but be careful, if you are not ready to be honest with yourself don't get it. I have cried so many times reading this book its amazing. I strongly believe that when God can't get through to us he speaks through others so others can hear him, and in this case he choose Rick Warren one of the many wonderful earthly beings that God chooses everyday to get his messages across.

On page 36 of the book The title is "Made to Last Forever" Rick Warren said, This life is not all there is. Life on earth is just the dress rehearsal before the real production. You will spend far more time on the other side of death---in eternity ---than you will here. Earth is the staging area, the preschool, the tryout for your life in eternity. It is the practice workout before the actual game; the warm-up lap before the race begins. This life is preparation for the next."

This is very deep and for most of us we don't want to hear that. We just believe that this is it, we die and then we are gone and that's it. Who cares if I do things that make other people unhappy or do things that we know is not right. Doesn't matter you say I am going to die anyway. What we don't realize is that our total of all good deeds will be the sum of what we recieve in eternal life. The very things we do on earth today will place us at different places in the afterlife. Think about it for second without judging and misreading what I am saying. Lets look at it this way.
Everyday we get up its morning then the sun goes down and we start a new day how we choose to live our life is up to us. Some of us are Stay-at-home moms some of us are managers or executives in a Corporation and guess what the harder we work the chances are we get a promotion. That promotion can do wonders more money means getting a better car, or paying down the mortgage or taking the family on vacation but we need that promotion, so we have to work really hard for it sometimes several years 5,10,15 years before the big break.

Well that is what Rick Warren is trying to say, what we do with our lives and how we live in this time will be equivalent to that promotion in the afterlife. We all are not going to be in the same place with everyone but we want to be in the Afterlife that is, in a place where we are safe and we know that what we did and I hope for most of us all the good we can muster on earth today.

So I will leave this thought for you to ponder and this is a direct quote from Rick Warren's book,
"When you fully comprehend that there is more to life than just eternity, you will begin to live differently, you will start living in light of eternity, and that will colour how you handle every relationship, task, and circumstance. Suddenly many activities, goals and even problems that seemed so important will appear trivial, petty, and unworthy of your attention. The closer you live to God, the smaller everything else appears."

Living For A Purpose

Do you ever wonder what you are here for? Are you here because it was meant to be that way or is there some other more deeper meaning to why you or even I am here today? I can honestly tell you that from the time I was about five years old I knew that for sure, no one had to explain to me that I was here for a greater cause than just being here on this planet. Certainly I am not trying to say that it should be like that for everyone not at all. However I can say that I felt strongly that I was been guided by a higher cause, a higher purpose. Guess what? We all are, we just don't see it at first because when your five years old who the heck thinks about living for a higher call.

We are all here for a reason. A reason that is meant for us to do good not evil. All of us come to this earth with a set of values that are pure and innocent but we deviate along the line. Just this evening I was putting my kids to bed and I turned to my daughter like most mothers and I asked her, "Why do you think so many people do bad things." She is nine years old and she said well, "God didn't make us this way, we chose our own path." That is so deep, I smile because I know I am doing something right. When your children, if you do have children say something to make you think for a moment about your life and even affect the decisions you make in a positive way, then obviously they are there for a reason. As humans we tend to think big. We tend to say well, "God sent me to be the head king and chief and I don't need to listen to anyone remotely younger than me because I am wiser or so we think.

Every person that comes to us is there in our lives or even just passing acquaintances are all there at that moment in our lives for a reason and our purpose--what we are here for will be revealed in small ways and big ways as time goes by we just need to pay attention and we won't miss it.

The artwork above: My daughter's artwork at 5 years old.

When Truth Speaks

How many of us dare to face the truth about who we are? Raise your hands. If we were in a forum and we asked that very same question, very few people would offer a show of hand. I always find it interesting how it's easier for us to point out the truth about someone else and not of ourselves. Me, you and everyone else are always quick to point a finger and blame the other person whatever the issue might be. Yet we never point a finger at ourselves first. I always try my best to find out what's going on with me first before I can fix anyone else. Now if you are like me I dream alot and if you are a good interpreter of your dreams then this is great because your dreams will certainly point out the good, the bad and the ugly. A few years ago when I was working on my books I was going through a very difficult time in my life the books became a catalyst a sort of penicillin for my life ills. Some of the things I found out about myself I did not like. For one thing I learned that I was the kind of person that always wanted to please others and often times I would rather please someone else just so I didn't have to deal with the unpleasantness of not pleasing other people. Another thing I found out was that as much as I thought that other people liked me they didn't. There was this sense that I had been hoodwinked into believing that people would just accept me into their little circle if I just tried harder and even give apart of myself so I could please others.

Big, Big mistake! Huge mistake! For me to "Give a part of myself so that someone else could like me!" Crazy but we always say we would never do it but we do. Now, when I look back it reminds me of how we now find ourselves in a situation where we go to the gas pump and everytime we go to the pump the price keeps getting higher, so guess what in most cases we end up getting less gas now because the cost is so high we have to put less in the tank. Well, my cost to me was putting more and more into trying to get accepted and the price just kept getting higher and higher. I became totally burnt out, because no matter how much I tried to fit into the other persons mold it just didn't work. We need to learn to value our self-worth to the point where we don't feel we have to be validated by others. "PEOPLE DON'T TAKE POWER, WE GIVE IT TO THEM." We are responsible for what happens to us not other people. We are responsible for our own actions, thoughts and decisions not someone else. We give away our power most of the time and yes in some cases, people sometimes steal our power away. I believe that anyone who has ever rendered powerless by someone else to a point where it affects how they live their lives, or affect them in such a way that they want to end their lives then those people or person is not deserving of what you have to offer to them.

Claim your power and your sense of self by giving to yourself. Self-nurturing must become a priority, grace, kindness and compassion must become the air you breath the water you drink the food you eat. You must love yourself first before you can offer love to someone else. You must reclaim your balance by accepting the truth about who you are. Facing the truth about yourself gives you to power to reclaim your sensibilities and allows you to move forward. I believe that when others try to gain control over someone else it always in most case have to do with self-esteem. That person doesn't feel good about themselves so they find a person who they can have a certain amount of power over. The person who is exerting their power doesn't think that what they are doing is wrong they just feel this great sense of satisfaction to know that someone is out there that they can have control over.

Take a notepad out and write down some of the ways you give away your power and write down as well, the truths about yourself that you are trying not to accept. List them and tackle each truth each day until you get over the issues. Love yourself, and don't give your power away just because you want to be accepted, reclaim your power because you are worth it.